It's all about ... G-A-M-B-L-I-N-G ...

No, u wrong if thought i'm a gambler,, i'm not exactly!

I'm gambling with my mind.. with my heart.. but excited actually.. :)

Yup, i think this March is most gambling month in my life ever..

What has made this so?! Ok, i tell u..

First is i spend much money in 1 month.. which that makes my cash very very low.. The documents, legalize documents, medical check up, many things i need to buy for Holland, daily stuffs.. huufff... :(

Second, i gambling whether my lil bath cash that i have now is enough for 5 days trip in Bangkok.. :(

Third, i gambling whether me & my indian boyfriend will match for each other.. whether he will accept me as i am.. whether we will have fun in bangkok.. whether we will continue our relationship after meet.. ( oh, God.. i wish all going smoothly.. )

Fourth, i gambling to come to Netherland.. whether i can mix with whole family especially with Kaylee & Lianne.. whether i can cook well.. whether i can have NL/foreign friends in there.. whether i sick bcos the weather..

Fifth, i gambling about what i will do after 1 year in Netherland.. whether i back & seek job in Indo.. whether i stay more than 1 year in NL.. ( i wish.. :p )

See,, the points are whether.. whether.. and whether... I rarely have this feeling so much.. this's tooo many whether.. :( I often feel want to pass it all soon.. i know it's all about time, no need to worry bcos God already doing in that, it's just my shit feelin'! Siikkhhh.... :(